Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
