A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
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she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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