they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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