and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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