so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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