They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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