everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Semen is not good for contacts.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
