So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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