you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
