they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Shame is for Republicans.
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