dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
