Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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