He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
