the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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