We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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