There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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