with your own penis?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
this is an emotional support booty call
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
