I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
