I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize
