So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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