You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
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