quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
