So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
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He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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