Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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