What a fucking waste of an outfit
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
