SEEEEXXX PLEASE
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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