so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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