She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I booty called her while she was in labor.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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