At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
