we have officially lost it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
