hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
