Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
