problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
