What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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