You're completely useless in the revolution.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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