Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
