I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
