if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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