ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
