Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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