He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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