I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
