what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
