So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
