1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
