i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
