someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
