We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
vagina is talking i cant
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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