I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
