Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
