its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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