Your dad touched me again.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
