You just made me feel so damn special
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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