Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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