How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
