i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
